Sunday 20 May 2012

Suspicious translations of "終わりの惑星のLove Song" (Owari no Hoshi no Love Song; Love Song from the Last Planet)

There are many suspicious English translations of lyrics.

The lyric sheet calls them "free translations".
Usually, "free" means "free from grammar". "free translations" preserve original meanings.
In this case, "free" means "free from original meanings". They destroy original meanings.

The lyric sheet calls them "free translations" (意訳).
I call them "mistranslations" (誤訳).
There seems to be an enormous difference between me and the lyric sheet in usage of words...

I cannot understand why no one checked the translations before they got published.
Especially, mistakes in translations of "火吹き山の魔法使い".


1. 終わりの世界から (Owari no Sekai kara; From the closed world)
l. 14
Original: でもそれは駄目だってどこかで気づいてた
Translation: But I realized that it's not going to work
"realize" means "clear understand".
This translation drops "どこかで".
I think "I felt that..." is better.

l. 14
Original: でもそれは駄目だってどこかで気づいてた
Translation: But I realized that it's not going to work
In this case, "駄目" means "forbidden".

l. 22
Translation: if you are that her
Subjunctive mood "if you were" is better.

l. 31
Original: そこで無邪気に笑ってる
Translation: I was laughing innocently in the phot
I think who was laughing is "you".


3. Killer Song
l. 30
Original: 難攻不落の城があるが不可解
Translation: It's a mystery whether there exists an impregnable castle
The mystery is why the blind load and the knight who can barely walk can protect their castle.


4. Flower Garden
l. 11
Original: 本物の花を見てみたい
Translation: you wanted to see this thing called real flower
Those "you" wanted to see are real flowers themselves.


5. 無敵のSoldier (Muteki no Soldier; The Invincible Soldier)
l. 2
Translation: The crown roared
"crowd". Just a typo.

l. 3
Original: まさかこんな別れになるなんて
Translation: This isn't how it was suppose to end
"supposed"
Translation says "I" had some assumption for a leave. I don't think so.
I think "It was never supposed to end up this way" is better.

By the way, the translation of "同じもの見て" into "We saw the world together" is great.
This is the very "free translation".


6. 凍る夢 (Kohru Yume; Frozen Dream)
l. 7
Original: まさかの席が後ろ
Translation: His seat was just right behind me
This is not consistent with l. 17 "he looked behind".
"My seat was just right behind him"

l. 7
Translation: if i can remember something
"I". Just a typo.

l. 69
Original: うまくいってるみたいね
Translation: You guys seem like going well
I have a different interpretation.
I think this girl referred to "your trick".
FYI, this girl may be one of "few friends of mine from junior high school".


8. とある海賊王の気まぐれ (Toaru Kaizoku-Oh no Kimagure; The Whims of a Pirate King)
l. 6
Original: 義手をかざす海賊が
Translation: Shading his eyes with the hook on his hand
His "hand" has a palm.
I think his "hand" is not just a hook but an artificial hand.

l. 20
Original: 義手を愛でる海賊は
Translation: The pirate who had a metal hook for a hand
Id.

l. 33
Original: 義手の冷たい手のひらが
Translation: Smashing the cold flat of his hook
Id.

l. 34
Translation: ignoring all the pain he caused
There is no Japanese lyrics related to this translation.
I think this is not necessary.


9. 雪の降らない星 (Yuki no Furanai Hoshi; A Planet with No Snow)
l. 16
Original: すぐ泣く癖
Translation: the way you made me cry
The agent of "cry" is "you".
This original sentence means "you cry easily".


10. 火吹き山の魔法使い (Hi-fuki-Yama no Mahoh-tsukai; The Sorcerer of Volcano)
l. 1, 2
Original: きみは魔法使いに憧れて古今東西の怪しげな書物を集めては読み漁る日々
Translation: Every day I gather a variety of stories from East and West, from old and new, to read to you who are so eager to become a sorcerer
I cannot understand why the translator misunderstood the agent of "gather" is "I".
And I think he/she didn't need to force himself/herself to translate "古今東西" into "from East and West, from old and new". The term "variety" is enough.
"古今東西の怪しげな書物を集めては読み漁る日々" means "Every day you gather various seedy stories".

l. 3
Original: こう言うんだ
Translation: you blurt out
"blurt out" means "say without careful consideration".
In this situation, "you" just said.

l. 4--6
Lack of quotation marks.
These lines are "your" words.

l. 6
Original: 是非探すのを手伝ってくれ
Translation: I beseech you, help me to find this magic stone
"I beseech you" is too literary, unnatural.
This should be omitted.

l. 16
Original: この手である人を守りたい
Translation: I want to protect people like this
Like what?
I guess the translator misunderstood the meaning of "この手".
"手" sometimes means "methodology".
The translator might take "この手" as "by this way".
In this case, however, "手" means "hand" itself.
The original lyric means "I want to protect certain someone by myself".

l. 19, 20
Original: でも今は現実を見なきゃ死んじゃう
Translation: Shall you see the truth of it, only to die here and now?
If this translation means "See the truth or die here and now", then I agree on this.

l. 23
Original: 見つけなきゃ
Translation: You must find it
Now, "you" is luring the dragon.
It is "me" who is searching the magic stone.
"I must find it"

l. 25
Original: その石を手に取る
Translation: You snatch it up
Id.
"I snatch it up"

l. 26
Original: そう強く念じた
Translation: you wished with all your might
Id.
"I wished with all my might"

l. 27
Original: 奇跡が巻き起こった
Translation: A miracle wrapped you in its warm embrace
This is an interpretation of the translator.
I think this lacks "to protect from fire attacking the dragon".
Original words just mean "A miracle happened".

l. 30
Original: 口にはきみがくわえられてた 再び念じた
Translation: From within the dragon's mouth, you creaked out another fervent wish
The agent of "念じた" is "me", because "I" had the magic stone.
"You were within the dragon's mouth, I wished again"

l. 31
Original: きみよダイヤモンドになれ
Translation: Turn me to diamond
Id.
"Turn you to diamond"

l. 31
Original: マグマにも熔けない
Translation: so I can withstand the magma
Id.
"so you can withstand the magma"

l. 33
Original: もっと魔法を極めて
Translation: Work to master your magic
Not "yours".

There are many mistranslations.
They are mainly due to the translator's misunderstand that "you" had the magic stone.
This interpretation is not compatible with "きみよダイヤモンドになれ".
Such mistakes are not rare in translations.
Such mistakes are easily avoidable by checking them.


11. Last Smile
According to images, the researcher is female.


12. Heroの条件 (Hero no Jouken; Hero)
English title "Hero" is too boring.
This drops "条件" which means "criteria".
I love "True Hero", "Who is Hero?",...

l. 9
Original: 何千万キロの道をきみは歩いた
Translation: You walked on the road, tens of thousands of kilometers
This is a nice mistranslation.
"何千万キロ" means "tens of millions of kilometers".
Let us assume, "you" walks 12 hours per day at an average speed 4 kilometers per hour.
Then, "you" can walk about twenty thousands of kilometers per year.
"You" needs several years for "tens of thousands of kilometers", several thousands years for "tens of millions of kilometers".

l. 22
Original: 僕は好きだよ
Translation: I like it
I think "I love you". Just my opinion.

By the way, please recall this song is made by 麻枝さん (Maeda-san) and 中川さん (Nakagawa-san).
And please imagine this lyric is message from Maeda-san to Nakagawa-san...


13. この惑星ホシのBirthday Song (Kono Hoshi no Birthday Song; Birthday Song for this planet)
Please note who is the teller.
"I" said l. 4, 5, 12, and 13.

l. 13
Original: 何遍もきみを諭した
Translation: You convinced me so many times
The agent of "諭した" is "me".

l. 13
Original: 何遍も僕はきみを諭した
Translation: You convinced me so many times
I feel better about "advise" or "persuade to rethink".
"I persuaded you to rethink so many times".