Sunday 20 May 2012

Suspicious translations of "終わりの惑星のLove Song" (Owari no Hoshi no Love Song; Love Song from the Last Planet)

There are many suspicious English translations of lyrics.

The lyric sheet calls them "free translations".
Usually, "free" means "free from grammar". "free translations" preserve original meanings.
In this case, "free" means "free from original meanings". They destroy original meanings.

The lyric sheet calls them "free translations" (意訳).
I call them "mistranslations" (誤訳).
There seems to be an enormous difference between me and the lyric sheet in usage of words...

I cannot understand why no one checked the translations before they got published.
Especially, mistakes in translations of "火吹き山の魔法使い".


1. 終わりの世界から (Owari no Sekai kara; From the closed world)
l. 14
Original: でもそれは駄目だってどこかで気づいてた
Translation: But I realized that it's not going to work
"realize" means "clear understand".
This translation drops "どこかで".
I think "I felt that..." is better.

l. 14
Original: でもそれは駄目だってどこかで気づいてた
Translation: But I realized that it's not going to work
In this case, "駄目" means "forbidden".

l. 22
Translation: if you are that her
Subjunctive mood "if you were" is better.

l. 31
Original: そこで無邪気に笑ってる
Translation: I was laughing innocently in the phot
I think who was laughing is "you".


3. Killer Song
l. 30
Original: 難攻不落の城があるが不可解
Translation: It's a mystery whether there exists an impregnable castle
The mystery is why the blind load and the knight who can barely walk can protect their castle.


4. Flower Garden
l. 11
Original: 本物の花を見てみたい
Translation: you wanted to see this thing called real flower
Those "you" wanted to see are real flowers themselves.


5. 無敵のSoldier (Muteki no Soldier; The Invincible Soldier)
l. 2
Translation: The crown roared
"crowd". Just a typo.

l. 3
Original: まさかこんな別れになるなんて
Translation: This isn't how it was suppose to end
"supposed"
Translation says "I" had some assumption for a leave. I don't think so.
I think "It was never supposed to end up this way" is better.

By the way, the translation of "同じもの見て" into "We saw the world together" is great.
This is the very "free translation".


6. 凍る夢 (Kohru Yume; Frozen Dream)
l. 7
Original: まさかの席が後ろ
Translation: His seat was just right behind me
This is not consistent with l. 17 "he looked behind".
"My seat was just right behind him"

l. 7
Translation: if i can remember something
"I". Just a typo.

l. 69
Original: うまくいってるみたいね
Translation: You guys seem like going well
I have a different interpretation.
I think this girl referred to "your trick".
FYI, this girl may be one of "few friends of mine from junior high school".


8. とある海賊王の気まぐれ (Toaru Kaizoku-Oh no Kimagure; The Whims of a Pirate King)
l. 6
Original: 義手をかざす海賊が
Translation: Shading his eyes with the hook on his hand
His "hand" has a palm.
I think his "hand" is not just a hook but an artificial hand.

l. 20
Original: 義手を愛でる海賊は
Translation: The pirate who had a metal hook for a hand
Id.

l. 33
Original: 義手の冷たい手のひらが
Translation: Smashing the cold flat of his hook
Id.

l. 34
Translation: ignoring all the pain he caused
There is no Japanese lyrics related to this translation.
I think this is not necessary.


9. 雪の降らない星 (Yuki no Furanai Hoshi; A Planet with No Snow)
l. 16
Original: すぐ泣く癖
Translation: the way you made me cry
The agent of "cry" is "you".
This original sentence means "you cry easily".


10. 火吹き山の魔法使い (Hi-fuki-Yama no Mahoh-tsukai; The Sorcerer of Volcano)
l. 1, 2
Original: きみは魔法使いに憧れて古今東西の怪しげな書物を集めては読み漁る日々
Translation: Every day I gather a variety of stories from East and West, from old and new, to read to you who are so eager to become a sorcerer
I cannot understand why the translator misunderstood the agent of "gather" is "I".
And I think he/she didn't need to force himself/herself to translate "古今東西" into "from East and West, from old and new". The term "variety" is enough.
"古今東西の怪しげな書物を集めては読み漁る日々" means "Every day you gather various seedy stories".

l. 3
Original: こう言うんだ
Translation: you blurt out
"blurt out" means "say without careful consideration".
In this situation, "you" just said.

l. 4--6
Lack of quotation marks.
These lines are "your" words.

l. 6
Original: 是非探すのを手伝ってくれ
Translation: I beseech you, help me to find this magic stone
"I beseech you" is too literary, unnatural.
This should be omitted.

l. 16
Original: この手である人を守りたい
Translation: I want to protect people like this
Like what?
I guess the translator misunderstood the meaning of "この手".
"手" sometimes means "methodology".
The translator might take "この手" as "by this way".
In this case, however, "手" means "hand" itself.
The original lyric means "I want to protect certain someone by myself".

l. 19, 20
Original: でも今は現実を見なきゃ死んじゃう
Translation: Shall you see the truth of it, only to die here and now?
If this translation means "See the truth or die here and now", then I agree on this.

l. 23
Original: 見つけなきゃ
Translation: You must find it
Now, "you" is luring the dragon.
It is "me" who is searching the magic stone.
"I must find it"

l. 25
Original: その石を手に取る
Translation: You snatch it up
Id.
"I snatch it up"

l. 26
Original: そう強く念じた
Translation: you wished with all your might
Id.
"I wished with all my might"

l. 27
Original: 奇跡が巻き起こった
Translation: A miracle wrapped you in its warm embrace
This is an interpretation of the translator.
I think this lacks "to protect from fire attacking the dragon".
Original words just mean "A miracle happened".

l. 30
Original: 口にはきみがくわえられてた 再び念じた
Translation: From within the dragon's mouth, you creaked out another fervent wish
The agent of "念じた" is "me", because "I" had the magic stone.
"You were within the dragon's mouth, I wished again"

l. 31
Original: きみよダイヤモンドになれ
Translation: Turn me to diamond
Id.
"Turn you to diamond"

l. 31
Original: マグマにも熔けない
Translation: so I can withstand the magma
Id.
"so you can withstand the magma"

l. 33
Original: もっと魔法を極めて
Translation: Work to master your magic
Not "yours".

There are many mistranslations.
They are mainly due to the translator's misunderstand that "you" had the magic stone.
This interpretation is not compatible with "きみよダイヤモンドになれ".
Such mistakes are not rare in translations.
Such mistakes are easily avoidable by checking them.


11. Last Smile
According to images, the researcher is female.


12. Heroの条件 (Hero no Jouken; Hero)
English title "Hero" is too boring.
This drops "条件" which means "criteria".
I love "True Hero", "Who is Hero?",...

l. 9
Original: 何千万キロの道をきみは歩いた
Translation: You walked on the road, tens of thousands of kilometers
This is a nice mistranslation.
"何千万キロ" means "tens of millions of kilometers".
Let us assume, "you" walks 12 hours per day at an average speed 4 kilometers per hour.
Then, "you" can walk about twenty thousands of kilometers per year.
"You" needs several years for "tens of thousands of kilometers", several thousands years for "tens of millions of kilometers".

l. 22
Original: 僕は好きだよ
Translation: I like it
I think "I love you". Just my opinion.

By the way, please recall this song is made by 麻枝さん (Maeda-san) and 中川さん (Nakagawa-san).
And please imagine this lyric is message from Maeda-san to Nakagawa-san...


13. この惑星ホシのBirthday Song (Kono Hoshi no Birthday Song; Birthday Song for this planet)
Please note who is the teller.
"I" said l. 4, 5, 12, and 13.

l. 13
Original: 何遍もきみを諭した
Translation: You convinced me so many times
The agent of "諭した" is "me".

l. 13
Original: 何遍も僕はきみを諭した
Translation: You convinced me so many times
I feel better about "advise" or "persuade to rethink".
"I persuaded you to rethink so many times".

Monday 9 April 2012

Summary of CD『麻枝 准×やなぎなぎ「終わりの惑星のLove Song」』殺伐ニコ生! (まとめ)

The program regarding Maeda-san's new album, "終わりの惑星のLove Song (Owari no Hoshi no Love Song)" (official, twitter, Facebook), was broadcast on NICO NICO LIVE.
This program was moderated by 麻枝 准 (Maeda-san) and 中川 泰誠 (Nakagawa-san).
Nakagawa-san is Maeda-san's closest friend from they were college students.

The main concepts of this album are:
- each song is self-contained,
- 13 songs come together to make up bigger story.

Lyrics are provided in various languages, Japanese, English, Chinese, and Korean.


01 終わりの世界から (Owari no Sekai kara; from the World's end)
Maeda-san
"This is the prologue of this album"
"The first song I made"
"I tried to make a different song from SURUME musics"

SURUME is a dried seafood product.
The more you chew it, the more flavorful it becomes.
This is an analogy for his music.
The more you listen to his music, the more you can understand his music.

Maeda-san
"If this album contains only SURUME musics, like '百年の恋' or 'Moon', only big funs buy this"
"I, as an employee of a company, decide to make musics which usual people love"

Maeda-san
"This music is based on a music I made when I was a college student"


02 ふたりだけのArk (Futari dake no Ark; Ark only for the two)
Maeda-san
"'boku' is a girl, 'kimi' is a boy"

Japanese has various words explain the first person.
'boku' is one of them.
Usually, boys use this word.

In 2002, he mentioned about the reason why he uses 'boku' in a song which a female singer sings on the official website.
He was deeply moved by the second album of Yusa, Mimori, "空耳の丘".


03 Killer Song
Maeda-san
"I considered well how we sell this album which has no relation to other media arts"
"My ansewer is to keep on releasing animations"
"I was realy suprised by this, the first animation I saw"

Nakagawa-san
"The quality of the sound and the animation is above my expectation"
"The story drives and leads the music"
"Who can make such a great stuff is only Maeda"

Maeda-san
"My criteria about musics is Nakagawa"


04 Flower Garden
Maeda-san
"This song has an effective refrain"
"The meter is quite irregular"
"At first, people may not understand this song well"
Nakagawa-san
"The SURUME music"
Maeda-san
"Exactly!"

Maeda-san
"The title of 'Flower Garden' and 'Last Smile' came from Nakagawa"
"Nakagawa has a strong influence on me"


05 無敵のSoldier (Muteki no Soldier; Invincible Soldier)
Nakagawa-san
"Good for anyone. Impactful"
Maeda-san
"It was very challenging"
"I don't think this is good for anyone"

Maeda-san
"The concept of this album is to describe a situation"


06 凍る夢 (Kohru yume; Frozen Dream)
Nakagawa-san
"This should be more attractive"

Maeda-san
"Listening through to the end may reveal the meaning of this song in this album"

Nakagawa-san
"This shows that Yanagi Nagi has a genuis as a voice actress"

By the way, the pronunciation of "凍る", "Kohru", is close to that of "Call".
In this poet, there is a call (maybe, "are some calls") from "me" to me.
"夢 (yume)" is "you me"? I don't know...

The most strange point is that this poet starts from Apr. 31.
What does this mean?
Is this related to "バラバラになった時空"?


07 Executionerの恋 (Executioner no koi; Inmost thoughts of an Executioner)
Nakagawa-san
"This may attract young people"


08 とある海賊王の気まぐれ (Toaru Kaizoku-oh no kimagure; Whim of a Sea king)
Maeda-san
"The last song I made"
"I had already written about a mountain, a desert, and a hill... so I wrote about a sea"
Nakagawa-san
"Enjoyable to listen"


09 雪の降らない星 (Yuki no furanai hoshi; Star without Snow)
Maeda-san
"I made this music and 'Spica' when I was a college student"
"These are twin jewels"


10 火吹き山の魔法使い (Hifuki-yama no maho tsukai; Sorcerer living in a Mountain breathing fire)
Maeda-san
"This is a story of the birth of the sorcerer"


11 Last Smile
Maeda-san
"Please note that the infusion is stopped in the last scene"

A sound which may represent the infusion became weaker.

Nakagawa-san
"The second time I listened to this, I could understand well"
Maeda-san
"The typical SURUME music!"


12 Heroの条件 (Hero no joken; Criteria for Hero)
Maeda-san and Nakagawa-san made this.

Nakagawa-san
"This song melted away my unpleasant mood"

Maeda-san
"This explains about situations of the preceding 11"


13 この惑星のBirthday Song (Kono hoshi no Birthday Song; Birthday Song for our Terra)


End